Today I want to share some of my favorite insights from my friend Gretchen Rubin’s inspiring blog and book, The Happiness Project. (The occasion of this post is today’s release of the paperback; the hardcover was a #1 New York Times bestseller and is being translated into 31 languages. Very proud of her!)

The Happiness Project is an account of the year Gretchen spent test-driving studies and theories about how to be happier. The book isn’t geared specifically to introverts, but I’ve been struck by how many useful pearls of wisdom it offers for all temperaments. (Gretchen writes that she scored “medium-low” on a personality test for extroversion, which is basically like being a moderate introvert. If I had to guess, I would say she’s an “ambivert” – in many ways combining the best of both types.)

Here are three of my favorite insights from Gretchen’s work that should be helpful for many introverts, plus an extra one that she wrote specifically for this post:

1. Be yourself.

“What’s fun for other people may not be fun for you-and vice versa,” says Gretchen.

“I don’t know why this bit of wisdom is so hard to keep in mind, but it is… The problem for me comes when I wish that I did enjoy things that I don’t really enjoy, or that I have interests that I don’t really have. I have an idea of who I wish I were, and that obscures my understanding of who I actually am ..

For example, an extremely athletic, well-rounded friend of mine said to me, with great enthusiasm,’ My idea of a great weekend is when I get outside with my kids for at least two hours before lunch and two hours after lunch.’

Now, that’s great. Healthy, active, family time. Right? Doesn’t that sound terrific?

Well, not really. Actually, I admitted to myself, my idea of a great weekend is when we all lie around reading in our pajamas until mid-afternoon.

Now, maybe that’s not the best way to spend a weekend. Maybe it wouldn’t even make me happy to do that two days in a row…But that’s the kind of thing I like.”

2. Get rid of your clutter!

“Outer order contributes to inner calm,” says Gretchen.

3. Faking it helps you make it.

“Although we presume that we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act. More than a century ago, philosopher and psychologist William James described this phenomenon: “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.” By acting as if you feel a certain way, you induce that emotion in yourself.

I use this strategy on myself. If I feel shy, I act friendly. If I feel irritated, I act lovingly. This is much harder to do than it sounds, but it’s uncannily effective.

…It really works. When I can make myself do it.”

4. I also asked Gretchen to comment specifically on introversion for this post, and here’s what she said:

“In my study of happiness, two things have stood out to me: first, that a key aspect to happiness is strong bonds with other people, and second, that we can build a happy life only on the foundation of our own temperament, interests, and values. So while strong bonds seem to be important to everyone, the fact that a lot of people seem to like going to cocktail parties, or enjoy working closely with other people, doesn’t mean that those circumstances will make you happy. You may get a lift from connection in very different situations. I have to remind myself all the time, ‘Just because something is fun for someone else doesn’t mean it’s fun for me.’ The more we know ourselves, the better we can shape our lives to support our happiness.”

Do Gretchen’s ideas resonate for you? What are your tried-and-true happiness boosters? Please share!