Hehehe … not sure if ‘should’ is the way to go. My advice would be to be sure you can actually make it. That said, sometimes, one has to fake it by necessity when something of significance is on the line.
Example: before I became practiced and confident enough to speak in front of unfamiliar people, I had to fake that confidence outwardly and continually tell myself that I was an authority on whatever it was on which I was presenting. I knew that such times were the “make or break” moments in my career advancement and personal growth, and I was not going to let speaking in front of people stop me from growing.
Absolutely- prove your capabilities, then ‘come out’ when it’s safe. Learn how and when to fake it for times when it isn’t safe. I’ve found myself in a job where I have to present to hundreds of people- it’s still hell each time, but the audience is none the wiser of the trauma I have to go through- I apparently don’t even look or sound nervous! I can only do this through quiet preparation, practice and rehearsal to myself- one thousand times! It’s totally fake, but according to the audience ‘I make it!’.
Clearly the world ‘should’ is a concern for me in this statement.
Happiness is a state of mind not an emotion. Yes, happiness has much to do with our emotions but it is not our emotion and so for that reason ‘happiness’ is often confused, misused and abused.
At 54, I have well learned that when I chose happiness over unhappiness I am always on higher ground after the fact. That said, my own practise of mediation has taught me to cry when I need to do that, laugh regularly or get good and flipping mad when I need to (which is not that much anymore ). The more I have given myself permission to know and understand my own emotions, the more I find myself in control of them and the less amplified they need to be. The irony of all this is that it has also allowed me to be in a state of joy most of the time. Happiness as far as I am concerned, comes and goes, is mostly temporary and depends somewhat on our internal and external circumstances. Joy on the other hand, is a new found place that comes when self discovery is well practised. Like all good things in life, we have to take the time to practice it, to achieve it. Faking happiness is a good starting point but will only last until the mind wants more understanding. As the Lady in Room 6 says – “There is always good to be found in the bad.” It’s a choice.
Yes, you should fake it til you make it. If you don’t fake it, you won’t make it. Then once you make it, you will BE it.
BUT only fake it if you want to BE it.
Just like talking in front of a packed lecture theatre – I’m scared out of my mind. But I get up and fake that I’m confident and know what I’m talking about. I WANT to BE that person, so I fake it and now I am becoming it. Yes it is draining and takes a toll on me but its all worth the personal growth.
Same can be said for happiness. If I’m unhappy, yet can still manage to act happy for others, it will make me happier. Acting happy can not make you any more sad than you were to begin with, so you may as well fake it!
Like several others have said/implied, “fake it until you make it” so depends on the context and situation.
Going outside one’s comfort zone to reap the rewards of connection and meaning – yes!
“Papering over” grief (a huge issue as I go through my journey and observe), prolonged inauthenticity … no.
I’ve done some faking that really helped me learn new, flexible ways of relating to the world. In general, checking in with my body will tell me its benefit, or its toll.