Browsing: Introversion Demystified

Shyness Remains a Part of Being Human

Joe Moran explores why shyness is a fundamental part of humanity:


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Emma Watson, Introvert, Truly Appreciates The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I loved, loved, loved the movie “Perks of Being a Wallflower,” starring the gorgeously sensitive Emma Watson. And now HERE SHE IS in ROOKIE magazine, declaring that she’s an introvert and a reader of QUIET! Made. My. Day. Here’s the full quote from Emma: “[QUIET] discusses how extroverts in our society are bigged up so […]


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Are You An Introvert Or Extrovert? Take The ‘Quiet Quiz’ To Find Out

Click this image to take the Quiet Quiz!


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Three Inspiring Introverts from 2012 — and a QUIET Giveaway!

Introverts have been changing the world for a long time, from Van Gogh to Charles Darwin to Steve Wozniak. But revolutionary introverts don’t belong only to history. Quiet people innovate, inspire and educate us every day. Here are three inspiring introverts who made the news in 2012. Do you have others to add to the […]


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How My Mother Helped Launch My Writing Career

“How did your mother teach you to dream, and how do you hope to teach your children to dream?” For Mother’s Day, Whitney Johnson, a venture capitalist and popular Harvard Business Review blogger (pictured at left), challenged me to answer these questions. With her new book, Dare, Dream, Do, she’s out to inspire women of all ages to […]


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No Solitude, No Revelation

I met some really incredible people at last week’s TED conference, and Rabbi David Wolpe was one of them. Here he is on the power of solitude: “When he was a child, the Seer of Lublin (later a famous Hasidic master) used to go off into the woods by himself. When his father, worried, asked him […]


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The Alchemy of Happiness

One of the pieces of my recent TED talk that has attracted the most interest is the idea that the world’s major religions feature stories of seekers (Moses, Mohammed, Buddha, Jesus…) who go off, by themselves, to the wilderness, where they have revelations that they then bring back to the community. No solitude, no revelations. […]


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How to Level the Playing Field for Introverts and Extroverts

Hi everyone, here’s a guest post from the insightful Ben Dattner, of Dattner Consulting, and author of The Blame Game, on how organizations can harness the strengths of their introverted employees. Do you have other ideas to add? Would love to hear them. In the meantime, here’s Ben: “The fantastic success of Susan Cain’s Quiet […]


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Adele, the Introvert? (Plus, More News from the QUIET Media Blitz)

Hi everyone, Take a look at this Anderson Cooper interview of Adele, on her discomfort with fame — and her stage fright: (Plenty of extroverts suffer stage fright too, of course, and some introverts love the stage — but see what you think.) “Adele: I wanted to be a singer forever. But it’s not really […]


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The Introvert Brand

Devoted as I am to the QUIET Revolution, I must admit that sometimes it is really weird to be constantly seen through the lens of introversion. Wherever I go now, that is the first thing people think about me: Here comes the introvert! Adam McHugh, author of Introverts in the Church, went through a similar […]


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Rise of the Introverts: Courtesy of CBS News

Oh, the irony of being an introvert on book tour! Yesterday I gave TWENTY-ONE interviews, starting at 6:45 a.m. and concluding at 10 p.m. Today wasn’t much different. This is not an ideal scenario for someone who dislikes the spotlight. But for now, I’m in a state of awe and delight. The QUIET Revolution appears to […]


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Three Ways to Celebrate the Quiet Revolution

Hi everyone, Today is launch day! Six years in the making, my book QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, is finally being released into the world. Please join me in the grand unleashing of the QUIET Revolution. To mark the occasion, here are three ways to celebrate: 1) Take […]


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“When to Take My Name Off the Door”

  “When you lose your respect for the lonely man, the man at his typewriter, or his drawing board, or behind his camera, or just scribbling notes with one of our big black pencils, or working all night on a media plan…. When you forget that the lonely man—and thank God for him—has made the […]


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Are Some of the Best Doctors Cerebral Introverts?

Hi everyone, happy new year! Today’s post is very personal, but it has a larger point too. My father was a gastroenterologist and medical school professor in New York City. Every day he would take care of his patients, come home and have dinner with the family, and then, after the rest of us had […]


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Question of the Week: Do You Play to an Inner or Outer Audience?

Do you find it easy to mimic other people? Do you ever act friendly to people you dislike? When you’re uncertain how to act in a social situation, do you look to the behavior of others for cues? Do you often seek the advice of your friends to choose movies, books, or music? If you […]


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Question of the Week: What Kind of Happy Are You?

Before you read on, please take this poll: This question is prompted by a line of research suggesting that introverts, as a group, are not as happy as extroverts. Here is John Zelenski of the Carleton University Happiness Lab, describing some of the data. As a person with a pretty high baseline level of happiness, […]


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A Still, Small Voice

Isn’t it strange how deeply we mistrust quiet these days, even though silence and solitude are widely held values in most mythological and spiritual traditions? Here’s one of my favorite examples: the Biblical story of Elijah. Elijah the Prophet is running for his life. He’s just destroyed a cult run by the evil queen Jezebel, […]


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“Always wanted to be the quiet girl. Probably precisely because I’m not.”

In lieu of reading recommendations this weekend, I want to share the following passage and ask for your reactions. It’s from Eat Pray Love, the memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert, which I’ve just started reading five years after everyone else (I do that with TV shows, too. In this case, I loved Gilbert’s TED talk so […]


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Be Assertive, But Not Too Much

Quick: what’s the #1 quality of a good leader? If you’re like most people, you probably think of intelligence, charisma, self-discipline. In a study by Daniel Ames, a Columbia Business School professor, and Francis Flynn, a professor at Stanford Business School, these were the strengths mentioned most frequently by employees asked to describe their colleagues’ […]


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To Find Work You Love, Ask Yourself These Four Questions

In my book research, I noticed that introverts often spend so much of their lives conforming to extroverted norms that by the time they choose a career, it feels perfectly normal to ignore their own preferences. So here are four questions to help you find work you love: 1. What or whom do you envy? […]


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Are You More of a Social Psychologist or a Personality Psychologist?

I never cease to be amazed by how different people are. We’re all human. We all rejoice when troubadors come calling, love our children desperately, and secretly believe we’re going to live forever. But then we’re all so different.


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If You Could Go Back and Change One Decision in Your Life, What Would It Be?

Recently, I had the chance to participate in an intimate salon for 65 women leaders of different ages, hosted by the inimitable Jacqueline Novogratz, CEO of the Acumen Fund, and Batool Hassan, a Business Development Manager at Acumen. (This is a photo of Jacqueline, and that’s my left shoulder on the bottom right…) The evening […]


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Three Steps to a Rich Inner Life — at Work

Would you like to read a business book that focuses on the inner life? Then take a look at THE PROGRESS PRINCIPLE: Using Small Wins To Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work, by Harvard Business School professor Teresa Amabile, who is herself an introvert, and known for her pathbreaking work on creativity. Amabile and […]


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Do Introverts and Extroverts See Reality Differently? (And What Does This Question Have to Do With Your Relationships?)

“Are Extroverts Ruining Psychologists’ Surveys?” So read the LiveScience headline, in an article describing research findings that extroverts answer survey questions with more extreme responses than introverts do. It doesn’t matter what type of question it is. Whether asked to rate how much they liked a photo of a nature scene, or how disgusted they’d […]


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“Do Not the Most Moving Moments of Our Lives Find Us Without Words?”

So asked Marcel Marceau. The following story of his life was sent to me via e-mail: “He was born Marcel Mangel on March 22, 1923, in Strasbourg, Alsace. His father Charles, was a kosher butcher who loved the arts. Marcel’s mother Anne nee Werzberger, took him to a Chaplin movie when her son was five. He was entranced. […]


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Three Introverted CEOs and What You Can Learn From Them

1. Douglas Conant, the much-celebrated and beloved former CEO of Campbell Soup. In addition to famously turning around his company, Conant is well-known for his quietly humane touch. Like many introverts, he’s interested in building alliances one person at a time. For example, during his tenure at Campbell, he wrote over THIRTY THOUSAND handwritten letters to […]


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Why Creative People Are Rarely Seen as Leaders

We are in love with the word “Eureka,” and for good reason.  Creativity is magic: the ability to create something out of nothing, to make connections that others don’t see. Everyone wants to work for, or invest in, the world’s most creative companies. Especially today. CEOs rank creativity as the most important leadership skill for successful […]


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Why I Love Engineers (Courtesy of Marc Andreesen, Founder of Netscape)

“[E]ngineers not only don’t care about…surface appearance, but they view attempts to be fake on the surface as fundamentally dishonest.”


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Does Feminism Make Room for Shy or Introverted Girls?

Here’s an excerpt from a wonderful piece in Feministing by intellectual powerhouse Courtney Martin, questioning whether contemporary feminism makes room for shy or introverted girls. Courtney articulates something I’ve worried about for years – in our efforts to instill confidence in young women, are we promoting an ideal of sassy outspokenness that’s just as confining […]


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Introverts in the Church

This post is courtesy of Reverend Adam McHugh, author of the terrific book, “Introverts in the Church,” and the blog, www.introvertedchurch.com. It originally appeared in The Washington Post. Regardless of your religious inclinations, McHugh has powerful insights to share on the idealization of extroversion in our culture. The scowling old man nearly bumped into me […]


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Want to Participate in the Quiet Revolution? Here Are a Few Questions For You

What would it look like if we could really make our culture more balanced between action and contemplation, between introverts and extroverts? What if we started in our own lives? What if we did it TODAY? I propose that readers of this site work together to make concrete changes in our personal lives — changes […]


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Are You Shy, Introverted, Both, or Neither (and Why Does it Matter)?

Bill Gates is quiet and bookish, but apparently unfazed by others’ opinions of him: he’s an introvert, but not shy.

Barbra Streisand has an outgoing, larger than life personality, but a paralyzing case of stage fright: she’s a shy extrovert.

Shyness and introversion are not the same thing.


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My Mother’s Lover: Reading Ideas for the Weekend

Hi everyone. Here’s a must-read for the weekend: “My Mother’s Lover,” by David Dobbs. It’s the true story of a World War II love affair that Dobbs’ mother kept secret, until she left her kids a puzzle on her deathbed. This is a short e-book/long story, and you have to buy it via Kindle or […]


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Seven Ideas on How to Overcome Fear and Become More Creative

When I was researching my upcoming book, QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, I met a scientist performing groundbreaking work on the neurobiology of social anxiety. An articulate and seemingly confident man, he confided that his interest in the subject came from his own struggles with shyness. When I asked […]


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Is President Obama an Introvert?

In yesterday’s New York Times op-ed on political leadership styles, David Brooks describes President Obama as a non-hierarchical but passive, thoughtful yet aloof leader: “I would never have predicted he would be this sort of leader. I thought he would get into trouble via excessive self-confidence. Obama’s actual governing style emphasizes delegation and occasional passivity. […]


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Why Reading Makes You Self-Confident

One of the luckiest things that ever happened to me was being born into a family that elevated reading to a religious activity. The weekly trip to the library was a form of Sabbath observance in our house. Then there was the yearly pilgrimage to London, which we visited with an empty suitcase reserved for […]


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“Shyness — An Evolutionary Tactic?” Read the New York Times Article, and Join the Conversation Here!

Today, the New York Times debuts the inaugural issue of a new section called The Sunday Review — including a piece  I wrote on the importance of shyness and introversion. It’s available here. I’m optimistic that the Times‘ interest in this subject signals a turning point in our culture — that people are ready to […]


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“Some People Are More Certain of Everything Than I Am Of Anything.”

I love this quote from Robert Rubin, the U.S. Secretary of the Treasury under President Clinton, because it states so cleverly something I often feel. If you say “X,” I automatically think, “But what about Y?” and “Is X always X”? Aside from driving my husband occasionally bonkers, this thought pattern also feels at odds with […]


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Introvert vs. Extrovert Survival Strategies

Two little boys played at a lakeside beach. The water was cold and reached their waists, in some places their chests.

One boy plunged right in. He didn’t know how to swim, but that didn’t stop him.

The second boy stuck by the shore. He didn’t know how to swim, so he built elaborate sand piles from the safety of the shallows…


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Mark Vonnegut, Son of Kurt, on Introverts and Extroverts

I am not usually a fan of bashing extroverts in order to win introverts the respect they are due, but this is a very funny quote from Mark Vonnegut, son of Kurt — from his book, “Just Like Someone Without Mental Illness Only More So”: “Introverts almost never cause me trouble and are usually much […]


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Watch this Teacher Engage Shy Students Via Twitter

I’m quickly becoming a fan of social media in the classroom, especially for shy or introverted kids. Here’s a CNN video of a high school teacher using Twitter to reach his students, especially the shy ones. There is of course a danger that shy kids will become too reliant on these technologies to do the […]


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Ten Tips for Parenting an Introverted Child

1. Don’t just accept your child for who she is; treasure her for who she is. Introverted children are often kind, thoughtful, focused, and very interesting company, as long as they’re in settings that work for them. 2. Introverted kids usually have the capacity to develop great passions. Cultivate these enthusiasms. Intense engagement in an […]


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When Epicurus Spoke of Pleasure, He Really Meant Introspection

“When we say…that pleasure is the end and aim of life, we do not mean the pleasures of the prodigal or the pleasures of sensuality, as we are understood to do by some through ignorance, prejudice, or willful misrepresentation. By pleasure we mean the absence of pain in the body and of trouble in the […]


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How Creative Are You, Compared to When You Were a Child?

How creative are you now, compared to when you were a child? A) More creative B) About as creative C) Less creative For most people, the answer is (sadly) C. Children are famously more creative than grown-ups, more engaged in the world of imagination and in making connections where none existed before. But what if […]


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The Importance of Being in Your Own Head (Courtesy of Filmmaker Tim Burton)

“I don’t sit down and try to draw a character. I attempt to reserve some time each day for myself to sit and do nothing—stare off into space or doodle or whatever–just be in my own head. That time is very precious for me, and sometimes the characters will strike me in these quiet moments.” […]


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“Everyone in the Room Isn’t Looking at You, Unless You Are Jennifer Aniston or Charlie Sheen.”

This honest and funny guest post was written by Jane London, co-host of the Dom and Jane Show on Mix 100 in Denver — www.mix100.com. Jane also writes  a blog, Present Tense: www.janelondon.wordpress.com: I am an introvert.  According to Myers-Briggs testing, an INTJ.  I’ve also been a morning radio host for over 25 years.  In […]


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Sixteen Things I Believe

I updated my “Things I Believe” list recently. There are now sixteen of them — see below. Which beliefs do you agree or disagree with? What things do you believe? I would love to hear. 1. Introverts are to extroverts what women once were to men: second-class citizens whose time has come. 2. There’s a […]


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Question of the Week: How Confrontational Are You?

Are you conflict-averse and, if so, do you associate this with introversion/extroversion? A reader on my Psychology Today blog posted a comment describing himself as a strong introvert, but a confrontational, challenging, and highly verbal one. He wonders how unusual it is for these traits to go together. Here’s the comment: “Test after test places […]


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Inspiration, Leadership, and the Souls of Others

“He who should inspire and lead his race must be defended from travelling with the souls of other men, from living, breathing, reading, and writing in the daily, time-worn yoke of their opinions.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson What do you think of this idea? I disagree with the notion that we should avoid traveling with the souls of […]


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QUIZ: Discover Your Signature Strengths

Do you wake up in the morning excited to start your day – or do you feel dread, avoidance, apathy? We tend to think of these reactions as fixed personality styles, but that’s wrong.  The emotions you experience as you get out of bed are often a function of whether you spend your days using […]


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7 Tips for Busting Through Fear and Being More Creative

When I was researching my upcoming book, QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, I met a scientist performing groundbreaking work on the neurobiology of social anxiety. An articulate and seemingly confident man, he confided that his interest in the subject came from his own struggles with shyness. When I […]


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What to Read This Weekend: Tiger Moms (not what you think), Pretty Young Things, and Confessions of an Introverted Traveler

Here are this Friday’s suggestions for weekend reading, all of them from writers I have long admired: 1. Sympathy for the Tiger Moms: If you think you’ve already gotten enough of the Tiger Mom debate, you haven’t read Sandra Tsing Loh, a writer for The Atlantic magazine. Plus, this is a great excuse to get […]


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If He Can Do It (Public Speaking), So Can You

If you fear public speaking, this story will inspire you. (It was posted on my Psychology Today blog, in response to my article on “Why You Fear Public Speaking, And What To Do About It.“) “My story is that I started out with SEVERE communication apprehension. It was so bad in my early twenties that […]


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More Strategies for Introverts at Work

Douglas Conant’s recent Harvard Business Review blogpost on being an introverted boss (Conant is the CEO of Campbell Soup) has generated some wonderful commentary in the blogosphere. Here is a very useful posting from Nancy Ancowitz, author of “Self-Promotion for Introverts.” “If you’re having a hard time getting a word in edgewise at boisterous meetings, […]


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How to Parent Sensitive (Orchid) Children

Last week, I fervently recommended this groundbreaking Atlantic magazine article, in which author David Dobbs explains a bold new theory of genetics — that “most of us have genes that make us as hardy as dandelions: able to take root and survive almost anywhere. A few of us, however, are more like the orchid: fragile and […]


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The Campbell Soup CEO is an Introvert, and Shares His Strategies

Here’s a Harvard Business Review blogpost from Campbell Soup CEO Doug Conant, on being an introverted boss. Conant shares some of his strategies for introverted leadership, including (interestingly) letting people know that he’s shy, not aloof. There is one strategy he doesn’t share, though, but for which he is well-known: writing handwritten notes of appreciation to […]


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How Your Personality Matures with Time

Readers often ask me: “Is it possible for my personality to change over time? I seem to be getting more introverted as I get older.” I’ve asked myself the same question. I was always an introvert, but my social needs used to be much more intense than they are today. When I was in high […]


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“The People Who Are Crazy Enough to Think They Can Change the World, Are the Ones Who Do.”

This is probably the first and last time you’ll find me quoting an advertisement as inspiration.  But I love this 1997 ad from Apple. “Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they […]


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Why You Dislike Multi-Tasking

I often wish that I could live in what I like to call “Wardrobe Time.” In C.S. Lewis’ “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe,” four schoolchildren disappear through a wardrobe into the magical land of Narnia…for decades. They grow into adults there, ascend to Narnian thrones, and reign for many years. But when they […]


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Introverts at the Pajama Hop

This past Saturday morning, my son’s nursery school — which is probably the most progressive, thoughtfully-run institution on earth — held a “pajama hop” fundraiser.  It was a family affair.  At ten in the morning, we parents and offspring crowded into the gym, decked out in our PJs, while a local band performed children’s music […]


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The Overflowing Brain

A thoughtful reader just sent this in, in response to the post and discussion on meditation vs. deep thinking: “There is general concern about what the fast pace of society is doing to our mental well-being. Books and magazines are full of advice on how we can learn to be less stressed, lower the demands […]


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The Myth of the Killer Introvert

Introversion does not equal psychosis or a propensity to violence. This really shouldn’t need to be said, of course. Except that it does. On Monday, The Daily Mail reported a tragically familiar story. A 23 year old named Joseph McAndrew stabbed his parents and twin brother to death in the kitchen of their family home. […]


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Enchantment for Introverts: Seven Tips From Guy Kawasaki, an Introvert Who Has Enchanted Millions of People

On August 10, 2008, Guy Kawasaki posted a shocking tweet. It read: “You may find this hard to believe, but I am an introvert. I have a “role” to play, but I am fundamentally a loner.” Kawasaki was the original evangelist for Apple’s Macintosh computer. He’s a well-known venture capitalist who has been called the […]


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The First Female U.S. Army General to Lead Troops in Combat is an Introvert — Why Am I Not Surprised?

Charles Darwin once wrote: “A shy man no doubt dreads the notice of strangers, but can hardly be said to be afraid of them. He may be as bold as a hero in battle, and yet have no self-confidence about trifles in the presence of strangers.” Darwin might have been talking about Brigadier General Heidi […]


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The Happiness Project, For Introverts (Courtesy of Gretchen Rubin)

Today I want to share some of my favorite insights from my friend Gretchen Rubin’s inspiring blog and book, The Happiness Project. (The occasion of this post is today’s release of the paperback; the hardcover was a #1 New York Times bestseller and is being translated into 31 languages. Very proud of her!) The Happiness […]


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How to Find the Holy Grail (Courtesy of Joseph Campbell)

“As in the novels of Joyce, so in those of Mann, the key to the progression lies in the stress on what is inward… I can feel that I’m in the Grail Castle when I’m living with people I love, doing what I love. I get that sense of being fulfilled. But, by god, it […]


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Why Nerds Are Unpopular (Courtesy of Paul Graham)

Upon entering middle school,  my once-sensible friend Amy suddenly wanted us to spend our time sifting through teen magazines and deciding which models were pretty. I was utterly perplexed as to why this was interesting, but I tried to offer insightful comments on the Bonne Bell lip gloss model’s peaches-and-cream complexion. As the school year […]


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Introverts as Revolutionaries?

“SHY U.S. INTELLECTUAL CREATED PLAYBOOK USED IN A REVOLUTION.” This sounds like a headline that I might have dreamed up, but it comes from a recent New York Times article on Gene Sharp, an “exceedingly shy” 83 year old man who grows orchids, eschews the Internet, and writes influential papers like “From Dictatorship to Democracy,” […]


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“Some People Are More Certain of Everything Than I Am of Anything”

I love this quote from Robert Rubin, the U.S. Secretary of the Treasury under President Clinton, because it states so cleverly something I often feel. If you say “X,” I automatically think, “But what about Y?” and “Is X always X”? Aside from driving my husband occasionally bonkers, this thought pattern also feels inappropriate in […]


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Nine Thousand Visits to This Blog in Its Three Weeks of Existence

When I started this blog, I assumed that for the first few months, a trickle of family and friends would read it, and that would be that. This has been a soft launch, with no marketing or search engine optimization whatsoever. So I am thrilled to share that the blog has received almost nine thousand […]


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The “Last Blog Post”: Decision-Making for Cerebral People

NO, THIS IS NOT MY LAST BLOG POST! I’m only just getting started! A few days ago, a group of bloggers decided to write their “last post.” The premise was, if you had one last blog post to make before you died, what would you say? The inspiration for this project was The Last Lecture, […]


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QUIZ: Are You an Approacher, an Avoider — or Both? And Why Does it Matter?

Yesterday I posted about approach-avoidance conflicts, especially in the context of public speaking. If you feel anxious about speaking (or anything else), there’s a good chance that some of your discomfort can be traced to your ambivalent feelings about it. For example, public speaking feels inherently dangerous to me (avoidance), and yet I want to […]


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When Does Socializing Make You Happier?

You’re standing at the checkout line at the grocery store, pondering tomorrow’s to-do list. The cashier greets you with a grin.  You’re not in the mood to chit-chat, but out of politeness you do anyway – and feel curiously happy afterwards.  A big smile plays across your face as you leave the store. What just […]


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Are You Curious About Human Nature? Here’s the Dream Vacation For You.

Who knew there was such a thing as “Neuroscience Boot Camp“?  It’s being held this summer at the University of Pennsylvania.  I can’t attend, but maybe you can!


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5 Tips For Finding Work You Love

In my last post, I talked about how introverts often spend so much of their lives conforming to extroverted norms, that by the time they choose a career, it feels perfectly normal to ignore their own preferences. So here are five tips on how to find work you love: 1.  Pay attention to what you […]


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Quiz: Are You An Introvert or An Extrovert (And Why Does it Matter)?

If you’re not sure where you fall on the introvert-extrovert spectrum, here is the place to assess yourself.  Answer each question True or False, choosing the answer that applies to you more often than not. 1.  I prefer one-on-one conversations to group activities. 2.  I often prefer to express myself in writing. 3.  I enjoy […]


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Quiet: The Book

- Wall Street Journal

Wow!
Best Nonfiction Book of 2012

QUIET has been voted the best nonfiction book of 2012
by Goodreads.com

Manifesto

1. There’s a word for “people who are in their heads too much”: thinkers.

2. Our culture rightly admires risk-takers, but we need our “heed-takers” more than ever.

3. Solitude is a catalyst for innovation.

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