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Topic: Extroverts consider themselves better?
DavidX
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Extroverts consider themselves better?
on: Feb 14, 2012, 12:17am

I presume that at one time an extrovert treated you badly because (according to his standards) you did not laugh and socialize like you were "supposed to". Why do some extroverts assume that their behaviors and preferences are superior?


lpro65
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Posts: 3
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Re: Extroverts consider themselves better?
on: Feb 20, 2012, 4:53pm

Just my opinion but I don't know that Extroverts necessarily think they are better than Introverts. I think they often have a hard time understanding introverts, or at least this is what I have noticed in my personal family dynamics. Extroverts often seem to think what works for them works for everyone and since they have so much energy they spend a lot of time trying to prove they know best LOL.


On the other side of the issue, Introverts often have a hard time gracefully asserting their needs. We can come off being snobbish when we truly don't mean to struggling to make those pesky introverts try to understand that a little bit of alone time is a GOOD thing.


gs56
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Posts: 13
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Re: Extroverts consider themselves better?
on: Feb 22, 2012, 11:24am

I agree with the comment that extroverts don't, in general, feel superior to introverts. I wonder if, in your discomfort being around extroverts, you are projecting your feelings on to them. And your body language might be sending a wrong message too.

As a personal example, in large gatherings, I feel very uncomfortable and even can feel inadequate. I have learned that if I begin feeling that way, it is easy by definition to think of others as superior. I just have to accept who I am and dismiss those damaging thoughts.


Red Dog
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Posts: 198
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Re: Extroverts consider themselves better?
on: Feb 26, 2012, 8:07pm

Quote from DavidX on Feb 14, 2012, 12:17am

I presume that at one time an extrovert treated you badly because (according to his standards) you did not laugh and socialize like you were "supposed to". Why do some extroverts assume that their behaviors and preferences are superior?


Here we have actually two assumptions: one being the presumption that there was an overt disparagement displayed, and another that the extrovert in question assumed himself to be superior. icon smile Forum


The idea that extroverts might think themselves superior or actually be superior is more likely generated from the societal assumption that introverts are inferior or lacking in social skills. Modern American society is based upon sociability, as is extroversion. The cultural expectation created is that the more sociable a person is, the better. Since extroversion is essentially the manifestation of maximizing sociability and since extroverts are in a majority, introverts are seen as being outside the norm. Once a norm is established those outside the norm are considered at least irregular, if not deficient.


To put it in a nutshell: it's an accepted cultural bias.


MarkHipwood
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Re: Extroverts consider themselves better?
on: Apr 13, 2012, 7:59am

From what I have seen, it is less that extroverts view themeselves as superior and more that the systems, processes and "scripts" that we live by in the workplace are quite often naturally tilted in favour of extroverts.


One example from my previous workplace related to large training workshops, which we held on a regular basis. The people designing the agenda of these workshops were invariably extroverts, simply because they most enjoyed the process of deciding how large groups should function. As a result, the activity plan for the workshop inevitably filled up every last second of time with group work, plenary feedback, presentations and so forth. No time whatsoever was devoted to introspection, planning and reflection.


When finally I mustered the resolve to request to revisit these plans and introduce more time for people with a more introverted leaning to get reflection time, my extroverted colleagues expressed genuine puzzlement that their approach, of creating as much friction of minds bumping together as possible, was not universally understood as the most efficient way to get things done.


When seen from an introvert's perspective the team thankfully made a big effort to insert more reflection time into future workshops, with great results.


Often, I think that the challenge is banding together to unravel an existing cultural bias rather than hostility or judgement. This is just one introvert's opinion though. icon smile Forum


Mark Hipwood

http://www.findyourtomorrow.com


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