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Topic: A flood of memories
gman
Member
Posts: 1
A flood of memories
on: Aug 10, 2012, 3:26pm

Just finished the book and it has provoked a flood of memories from childhood on.


Things like:


Showing up for a first day of a college class and the instructor informing us that 25% of the grade will be based upon class participation. There goes any hope for an A.


Getting poor "citizenship" marks in high school because one of the determining factors was class participation.


Being, mocked, teased, bullied for being quiet or shy.


Not turning in completed homework for fear of it being judged/graded.


An inability to tolerate business/team meeting due to the amount of idle chit chat.


The feeling of panic when I "have" to attend things like bachelor parties.


Leaving group job interviews and having no idea who I spoke with or what we spoke about. It's like an out of body experience.


I've been told that I must be depressed or that I have a social anxiety disorder. I'm just an introvert. I'm going to embrace it and work with it.


savepaws
Member
Posts: 1
Re: A flood of memories
on: Mar 12, 2013, 2:52pm

I am finding the same thing as I read this book, and it is very emotional for me. I am realizing that I'm NOT weird and that so many things that I thought were "just me", random things, are in fact related to the fact that I'm an introvert.


I've known for quite a long time that I would describe myself as an introvert, though this book is helping me delve into what this truly means.


dog trainer at no-kill animal sanctuary, animal lover and rescuer, nature lover, gardener, avid reader

she is a painter
Member
Posts: 2
 Forum
Re: A flood of memories
on: May 2, 2013, 11:25am

"Being told I need to get over it. That I should take medication. That loud noises are 'just part of the movie'. "


Much advise from Friends, family, and Physician was similar to the above.


Thank you Susan Cain, for the powerful, accurate examples within this book. Knowing OTHERS have similar background stories have given me added courage to stand tall, strong, and determined. (@ 5'2" tall)


Red Dog
Member
Posts: 119
 Forum
Re: A flood of memories
on: May 2, 2013, 10:02pm

Quote from gman on Aug 10, 2012, 3:26pm

Just finished the book and it has provoked a flood of memories from childhood on.


Things like:


Showing up for a first day of a college class and the instructor informing us that 25% of the grade will be based upon class participation. There goes any hope for an A.


"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."


If you believe that, you have succumbed to being brainwashed.


Did you have choices? What might they have been? Sign up for a different class? Be assertive and ask the teacher what he means by "class participation"? Ask if there were any other ways to fulfill his expectation…?


Getting poor "citizenship" marks in high school because one of the determining factors was class participation.


Unfortunately much of what passes for education today is indoctrination. Actually you learned what is important - that true citizenship is not taught through social indoctrination, nor through punitive grading..


Being, mocked, teased, bullied for being quiet or shy.


I'm 60 years old and I still encounter it in daily life. However, by now I've learned how to cope with it, effectively, by being assertive. This is part of life. The verbal and psychological aggression (AKA 'bullying') never ends, and it never will end, as it is a part of human nature. But you can learn to cope with it, such that you don't need to be protected or shielded from it. Those who are shielded from it are denied the opportunity to learn coping skills. They will always be dependent and in need of protection (i.e. less than being autonomous adults who are capable of coping with adversity.)


Not turning in completed homework for fear of it being judged/graded.


That's taken it to a higher level of fear. Maturity is accepting the realization that you will be judged. What's the worst that can happen? You will fail. So what? Failure is a part of life. No one gets executed for that. You simply need to learn from your mistakes, pick yourself up, and try again. icon smile Forum


An inability to tolerate business/team meeting due to the amount of idle chit chat.


If you are being paid to tolerate it, then you need to do it to retain your paycheck. (Without rolling your eyes or falling asleep - as much as you might like to…)



The feeling of panic when I "have" to attend things like bachelor parties.


If you don't "have to" go, then don't go. If you want to go, then GO.


Leaving group job interviews and having no idea who I spoke with or what we spoke about. It's like an out of body experience.


Again - if it's not a personal interview, then it's a "cattle call". Don't bother with such things if they are not productive or beneficial to your career.



I've been told that I must be depressed or that I have a social anxiety disorder. I'm just an introvert. I'm going to embrace it and work with it.


Yep, those that say such things know they can influence you with mere words.


However, you are insightful because you are an introvert. You DO realize that they are trying to F— with your mind, don't you?


So what did you learn from your discomforting memories? Can you move on from them and cope with situations differently in the future?


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