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Topic: Feeling obligated to socialize out of working hours
Phoenyx
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Posts: 1
Feeling obligated to socialize out of working hours
on: Sep 24, 2014, 1:23pm

How do you guys deal with this?


I'm in a job where I get along with most of my coworkers but I like to go separate work from my life. My boss organizes these "dinners", usually on Friday nights (who wants to do that on a Friday night, really?) and he kind of makes you feel like a weirdo if you don't want to attend. This is not my desirable job, but even if it was, I don't think employees have to be forced to socialized outside work. What do you think?


Red Dog
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Posts: 194
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Re: Feeling obligated to socialize out of working hours
on: Sep 25, 2014, 11:42pm

Quote from Phoenyx on Sep 24, 2014, 1:23pm

How do you guys deal with this?


I'm in a job where I get along with most of my coworkers but I like to go separate work from my life. My boss organizes these "dinners", usually on Friday nights (who wants to do that on a Friday night, really?) and he kind of makes you feel like a weirdo if you don't want to attend. This is not my desirable job, but even if it was, I don't think employees have to be forced to socialized outside work. What do you think?


Your problem is an internal one of your own perceptions. This is a common problem but it has nothing to do with introversion.


What is it that is making you "feel like a weirdo"?


Who is forcing you to socialize after work? Is anyone putting a gun to your head or threatening you with loss of your job?


I continue to recommend the best book ever written on the topic of how to become assertive. It is When I Say No I feel Guilty by Manuel Smith, PhD. The book was a huge bestseller when it was published in 1975. Smith is a behavioral psychologist who has written about assertiveness training and desensitization of phobias. His methods are highly effective. Presented are several easy to learn concepts that are universally applicable in responding to challenging social situations. The book is easy for anyone to read, learn and practice the few skills that are essential to becoming assertive and self confident.


Dr. Smith also wrote a book for parents to teach children assertiveness techniques. That title is "Yes, I Can Say No".


Can you say "no" without feeling guilty, or weird, or coerced?


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