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Topic: Mommy Group
Posts: 1
Mommy Group
on: Jan 14, 2012, 2:34am

I attended a mommy group today and was blown over by a group of cliquey extroverted moms.

They seemed so very loud to me. It felt like they were having a screaming contest.

Following the conversations was difficult, I tried to join in, but couldn't get a word in, or if I did, it was dismissed.

Being with this group of women reminded me that no matter how hard I try, I will never fit with these kind of people, and they will think I'm rude or aloof.

I always have so much to share and extroverts like this make me feel INVISIBLE.

How can introverted moms establish their presence in groups like this? How can introverts avoid being dismissed or made to feel so invisible??!!

Posts: 1
Re: Mommy Group
on: Jan 16, 2012, 12:57am

I guess the first question is are you sure you want to be a part of this group? If you really think there is some value in making your presence felt, then go for it.

Maybe you could observe for a while. Look for other people who appear to be listening and not talking constantly. Approach them individually. Sometimes people are just being followers - there may be some mothers in the group that are less extroverted and better listeners than they appear, but they may just be good at faking extraversion.

Introverts are not usually the kind of people that are talented at bludgeoning their way into a large group conversation, so if you try that you probably are just going to end up being frustrated. On the other hand, introverts are often pretty good at talking to people one-on-one…you may have more luck with that.

Posts: 2
Re: Mommy Group
on: Feb 19, 2012, 1:38pm

I feel your pain. I attended these types of groups for a few years. I just told myself that I was doing this for my son to get social interaction and I lowered the expectations for the group to fulfill my needs. I do much better one on one, so I would try to set up individual playdates. Realize that there are other low key moms in the group and try to find them to establish friendships. When things got too loud or overstimulating for me, I would take a break to "check" on the kid or go find a quiet area I could regroup in. Try not to take it personally. That's just the nature of groups.

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